Don't Rape

Just like everyone else, I've been following the Steubenville trial of the two high school athletes that raped a 16 year old girl and then spent the next few days bragging about it through text messages, videos, and pictures. And I've been absolutely appalled at the message that people have been sending out.

While a CNN corespondent was in a broadcast saying how sad she felt for these boys and how their lives were just absolutely ruined by the verdict and people around the country are lamenting this decision, I think these boys got off easy. These boys made the decision to rape a girl. Then they bragged about it. How can anyone feel bad for them. Go ahead and read some of these text messages and tell me they didn't deserve to be tried as adults and convicted of a longer sentence. And that's only a a small part of the 1500 text messages these men sent.

But, other than the "Oh these poor boys" attitude that people seem to have, I'm even more furious about the response of people that this girl should have done something different.

Yes, she shouldn't have been drinking to the point where she was barely conscious especially at 16. But that doesn't excuse what these men did to her. But this happens all the time. Not just this highly publicized case. But all the damn time. Women are raped and its their fault because they should have stopped it.

There's this attitude that apparently women shouldn't dress a certain way or they will be raped. They shouldn't act a certain way or they will be raped. They shouldn't drink or they will be raped. They shouldn't go out alone or they will be raped. Women have to go out in groups and stick together or one of them will be raped. When walking to and from your car, house, shop, garbage bin women have to be aware of their surroundings because anyone could rape them because they weren't paying attention. Women have to take self defense courses in order to prepare themselves for the time a rapist decides to come after them because if they're not prepared, its their fault and they should have been prepared. If you don't explicitly say "No" you are giving your consent.

Not only is this logic absolute bullshit, its also insulting to men everywhere.

Women are taught that they have to be prepared in every circumstance for a man to attack them. If a woman is wearing certain things or acts a certain way, it means that she has provoked a man to attack her. It means that the general position of a man is to have sex with a woman unless he is otherwise told no. It means that men are nothing more than some uncontrollable sex fiend that have to be protected from these women that dress and act a certain way. Its insulting to men to say that they simply can't control themselves when women do certain things.

This society seems bound and determined to make rape a woman's fault. If a woman is raped because she is at a party and is too drunk to say no, it is her fault because she should have stayed with friends that should have protected her and she shouldn't have been drinking so much. This happens to women more often than people would like to believe. I would be willing to bet that you know someone that this has happened to. And when this woman tried to say she was raped, people told her it was all her fault because she got drunk and she should have known better. I know because I've been there.

People don't like to talk about the fact that this standard teaching of "Don't get raped" is offensive to both men and women alike. Instead of teaching that, how about we start telling people "Don't rape." Wouldn't that  solve the problem?

We should start teaching that if a person is too drunk to say no, it means no. If a person says "I don't think so" or "maybe not" because they're too afraid to actually say no, it means no. If a person is in any way showing that they don't want to have sex, don't have sex with them. It doesn't matter what they're wearing, what they're doing, what they're saying, or even if they're alone. Don't have sex with people if they don't give consent. If you don't have consent, don't video tape it and post it on the internet. Don't text your friends bragging about it. Don't send pictures of your "conquest."

Just act like a decent human being.