Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.

So you hate feminists. They're trying to ruin society and make your life impossible. Do you really understand what a feminist is? Do you realize how dismantling the patriarchy is for the benefit of everyone? Well, let me try to explain it to you...

Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to have to make alimony payments. Alimony is set up to combat the fact that women have been historically expected to prioritize domestic duties over professional goals, thus minimizing their earning potential if their “traditional” marriages end. The assumption that wives should make babies instead of money is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be lonely and we do not hate “nice guys.” This idea that women are after a "tough guy" is patriarchy. The idea that certain people are inherently more valuable than other people because of superficial physical attributes is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging. And also part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be maimed or killed in industrial accidents, or toil in coal mines while we do cushy secretarial work and various yarn-themed activities. The fact that women have long been shut out of dangerous industrial jobs (by men, by the way) is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of any gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be viewed with suspicion when you take your child to the park (men frequently insist that this is a serious issue, so I will take them at their word). The assumption that men are insatiable sexual animals, combined with the idea that it’s unnatural for men to care for children, is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy.

Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy.

Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.

If you really care about those issues as passionately as you say you do, you should be thanking feminists. Feminism is a social movement actively dedicated to dismantling every single one of them. The fact that you blame feminists—your allies—for problems against which they have been struggling for decades suggests that supporting men isn’t nearly as important to you as resenting women.

We care about your problems a lot. Could you try caring about ours?

I want to be your everything

I want to be the woman of your dreams. I won’t be complicated. I won’t have baggage. I’ll always be happy whenever you’re next to me. Whatever you look for in a woman, you’ll find in me.

I want to make you the happiest you’ve ever been. So happy that every time you look at me, you can’t help but smile. So happy your heart jumps with joy at the sound of my voice. So happy that you’re singing along to Bruno Mars in your car. So happy that your day isn't complete without me in it. So happy that even a phone call is enough to let you know that I'm all yours.

I want to be the one you talk to. The person you can open up to at three in the morning. The person that you know will listen to your problems, even though I can't fix them. When they're too big for you to take on, you know that I'll be here for you. The person that will be by your side through it all. You aren't alone through anything any more. Even though you want to keep me safe, you should know that I'm willing to stand by you through the rough times. I'm willing to get my hands dirty for you.

I want to be the woman you introduce to your parents. To be the girl your family adores. To have your mother fuss over how you’re not treating me well enough. To have your brothers be jealous that you have a girlfriend like me. To have your friends wonder what you did to have a relationship like ours. To be the couple that everyone takes note of when we enter the room.

I want to be the person you see spending the rest of your life with. To be the only person you want to wake up next to every morning. To share lazy Sunday morning kisses and heated Friday nights. To be the person you're just as happy staying watching movies with as you are going out with. To be the woman you want to marry. To be the person that gives you every future you could want. To be the person you want to travel the world with. To be the person you want to grow old with.

I want to be too good to be true. To be better than you’ve ever imagined. To exceed your expectations. To stand out in your eyes. To make you shake your head and wonder if you’re dreaming. To be the best you’ve ever had. To be the only woman you've wanted. To be the one that exceeds every desire you've ever had.

I want to be your everything. I want you. I want us. I want it all with you.

Only you.

Robots in space are magical

We spent hundreds of years looking up at the stars and wondering “Is there anybody out there?” Hoping and guessing and imagining.

We, as a species, were so lonely and we wanted friends so bad, we wanted to meet other species. We wanted to talk to them. We wanted to learn from them and to stop being the only people in the universe.

And then we started realizing that things were maybe not going so good for us— we got scared that we were going to blow each other up. We got scared that we were going to break our planet permanently. We got scared that in a hundred years we were all going to be dead and gone and even if there were other people out there, we’d never get to meet them

Then...

Then we built robots.

We gave them names. We gave them brains made out of silicon. We pretended they were people and we told them, "Hey you wanna go exploring?" And of course they did, because we had made them in our own image.

Maybe in a hundred years we won’t be around any more. Maybe the planet will be a mess and we’ll all be dead. And if other people come from the stars, we won’t be around to meet them and say, "Hi! How are you? We’re people, too! You’re not alone any more!"

Maybe we’ll be gone.

But we built robots. Robots who have beat-up hulls and metal brains, and who have names. If the other people come and say, "Who were these people? What were they like?"

The robots can say, "When they made us, they called us Discovery. They called us Curiosity. They called us Explorer. They called us Spirit. They must have thought that was important.

"And they told us to tell you hello."

And that's why our robots are amazing.

The quest for perfection

It consumes me.  This desire to be skinny.

Small.

Too small.

Even though I see the numbers get lower, I feel like I look the same.  It frustrates me.  How I feel like I’m the one who works so hard so I should have the skinniest legs.  Perhaps the most disturbing part is the competition aspect.  When I look at a girl and see that I’m skinner I feel like I’m winning.  I almost want to giver her a sly smile (and sometimes do) that says, “See what happens when you work hard?”  Conversely, seeing girls smaller than me is the absolute worst.  And whenever I see a girl that is so bony it looks like I could snap her in half, I am completely envious of her and feel a burning hatred inside myself.

Who am I?  What’s wrong with me that I feel this way?  I remember as a child when food didn’t consumer my mind and it wasn’t at all a highlight in my life.  But back then I had an amazing metabolism too.  I could overeat 24/7 and not gain a pound on my extremely small frame.

Now I’m on a quest to be perfect.

Perfect is the unreachable goal that I know I can’t get to but I’ll never stop trying to reach.  So I’ll continue.  I’ll continue counting my calories and not eating more than one thousand a day.  I’ll continue over-exercising. I’ll continue to feel uncomfortable in my own skin and embarrassed by who I’ve become.  Maybe one day I’ll look in the mirror and realize this girl isn’t me, but that day is not today.

True relationship goals

I no longer want someone who promises to always love me and never leave me, I need someone who understands that life happens and sometimes things don’t work out. I need someone that understands that while we want nothing more than each other, we can survive on our own. I need someone that doesn't make me feel like my life will stop if they walk away. Standing alone is just as important as standing together.

I don’t want someone who sugar coats things and never gets angry with me, I need someone to tell me how it really is and put me in my place. I need you to call me on my bullshit and stand firm in your beliefs. I need to have someone as strong willed and stubborn as I am because I know that I can be wrong. We both will make mistakes and be wrong, but we can understand and accept being corrected.

I don't have to share every interest with you. We don't have to mirror the other's likes and dislikes. I had life before you, I have likes outside of you. Don't change who you are or what you like to please me. Because I certainly won't do that for you. I need to be able to tell you with passion why I love ballet and spill out how a tour jeté makes me feel more alive than anything even when you don't understand. I want to listen to you talk about a baseball team with a record that I don't understand.

I need to be able to go five hours without talking to you and not feel lost or incomplete. I am complete without you. But with you, I want to be so much better. I want to be stronger with you. I will not rely on you to give me self worth or to value my presence. I want to stand beside you. Not below you. Not on a pedestal. We are equals. I want us to grow together and help each other grow individually.

I don’t need you, but I really fucking want you.