Let's talk about sex.

There seems to be some mis-communication when it comes to sex. I know that you've been told over and over that sex to a woman means love. If a woman wants to invite you into bed it means she expects a commitment and a relationship. If she wants to sleep with you it means she wants to know you have feelings too.

But that isn't always true.

Sometimes, sex is just sex.

Take a moment to process that.

I know that some of you may have a hard time actually believing this, but it's true. You know how sometimes you just want to have a night of fun with someone? Yeah, we like that, too. Just because we want to spend the night with you doesn't mean we want to spend our lives with you.

I know. It's amazing that we might actually enjoy having sex.

(If you're doing it right, we will)

There is this huge double standard that if a man wants a single night with someone there's nothing wrong with that. But for a woman? God, she must be a slut. Can you believe how easy she is?

But that's not true.

Women like sex. I know you've been told over and over again that for a woman to want to sleep with you she wants more than that, but it isn't always true. Sex should be something that we should all be able to enjoy.

And can we get rid of this entire "walk of shame" notion? Why should we be shamed for having a great night? (When done properly) We should all go home the next morning feeling amazing. We shouldn't feel bad for something that is so natural for us. After a great night in bed, you shouldn't feel any sort of shame. You should feel great, amazing even. Hell, we both should. So why this notion of shame? Unless it was a poor performance, neither party should feel bad about it.

I know, I shouldn't even be talking about such a taboo subject. It is so much easier to address things like violence and criminals and politics and any other subject but sex. But why?

If we can't even talk about sex, how can we be expected to actually participate without this silly notion of being a slut? Sex should be fun. Not something anyone needs to feel bad about.

So let's just enjoy the night. Okay?

I need to refocus

"What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless; well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age." - Sylvia Plath

While some people like to wax philosophical about what the meaning of life is and why we're here and what comes next, it seems to me we need to focus more on the here and now. What good does it do for us to try to live life for another person's standards if you are utterly miserable? What good does it do to try and spend your entire life preparing for what comes next?

Living is a fatal disease and death is something that none of us will ever escape. So why do we spend so much time worrying about what comes after this life? Shouldn't we be doing everything in our power to make sure we leave a positive mark on the world we live in? Would it not make more sense for us to focus on not only making ourselves happy, but making those around us happy?

We spend so much of our time getting caught up in the small details of our life that we may be unhappy with that we end up losing perspective if the great things we have. Salt and baking powder are terrible on their own, but when you put them into a cake, that cake is amazing. Don't forget that your life is just like that cake: No matter the difficulties we go through, our life wouldn't be the same without them. I've spent so much time lately focusing on the bad things that have happened lately that I feel like I've lost sense of this.

So I'm going to try and refocus. More than anything else, I fear living an utterly mundane life not worth remembering. And if I can't even make myself happy and see the joy and positivity in life, I can't possibly leave that kind of mark on the world.

I've decided that I can't focus on the negative people that are still trying to drag me into their lives. I can't worry about all of the minor bumps in the road. Because those people will always be there and those bumps are unavoidable. I think it is important to try and refocus my attention to the good. I can work on getting to a point in my life where I feel like I'm not just coasting by and making it through. I can make a difference. I can make the world a better place.

I don't have any ideas of grandeur wherein I can bring about world peace or anything like that, but I can be the person that people feel comfortable coming to for comfort. I can be the person that people can depend on when they're going through their own struggles. I can be the person that I've needed others to be for me.

And, to me, that will mean more than spending my life waiting for the day I die.

The potential to love

Have you ever felt the potential to love someone?

You don't actually love them and you know you don't, but you know that you could. You begin to realize that you could easily fall in love with them. From the first time you meet, you know that there is some inexplicable something that is there between you. It's almost like the bud of a flower, ready to blossom but it's not quiet there yet.

You may not necessarily love this person in a romantic sense, you just know that you have a connection here that you have not had with another person before. You may see this potential for an amazing friendship that is just starting. Every time you talk with them you can see this love growing just a little more. With a little more time and patience, you feel like this could be an amazing relationship that could last for many, many years.

And you like them a lot, you really, truly do. You think about them, but you know you don't love them yet. You know that you will have arguments and disagreements because that's just a part of life. You know that any sort of love won't last without a few hard times because how can you possibly appreciate the amazing things in life without a few troubles.

Whenever you see them, you feel this love growing. Whenever you talk to them, you can feel it in the back of your mind. You might be afraid to love them at this point, but you know that you could love them.

You could, though.

You know you could.

Make peace with yourself

Until you heal the wounds of your past,
you are going to bleed.

You can bandage the bleeding with food,
with alcohol,
with drugs,
with work,
with cigarettes,
with sex.

But, eventually,
it will all ooze through
and stain your life.

You must find the strength
to open the wounds.
Stick your hand inside,
pull out the core of the pain
that is holding you in your past,
the memories

And make peace with them,
make peace with yourself.