I need to refocus

"What horrifies me most is the idea of being useless; well-educated, brilliantly promising, and fading out into an indifferent middle age." - Sylvia Plath

While some people like to wax philosophical about what the meaning of life is and why we're here and what comes next, it seems to me we need to focus more on the here and now. What good does it do for us to try to live life for another person's standards if you are utterly miserable? What good does it do to try and spend your entire life preparing for what comes next?

Living is a fatal disease and death is something that none of us will ever escape. So why do we spend so much time worrying about what comes after this life? Shouldn't we be doing everything in our power to make sure we leave a positive mark on the world we live in? Would it not make more sense for us to focus on not only making ourselves happy, but making those around us happy?

We spend so much of our time getting caught up in the small details of our life that we may be unhappy with that we end up losing perspective if the great things we have. Salt and baking powder are terrible on their own, but when you put them into a cake, that cake is amazing. Don't forget that your life is just like that cake: No matter the difficulties we go through, our life wouldn't be the same without them. I've spent so much time lately focusing on the bad things that have happened lately that I feel like I've lost sense of this.

So I'm going to try and refocus. More than anything else, I fear living an utterly mundane life not worth remembering. And if I can't even make myself happy and see the joy and positivity in life, I can't possibly leave that kind of mark on the world.

I've decided that I can't focus on the negative people that are still trying to drag me into their lives. I can't worry about all of the minor bumps in the road. Because those people will always be there and those bumps are unavoidable. I think it is important to try and refocus my attention to the good. I can work on getting to a point in my life where I feel like I'm not just coasting by and making it through. I can make a difference. I can make the world a better place.

I don't have any ideas of grandeur wherein I can bring about world peace or anything like that, but I can be the person that people feel comfortable coming to for comfort. I can be the person that people can depend on when they're going through their own struggles. I can be the person that I've needed others to be for me.

And, to me, that will mean more than spending my life waiting for the day I die.