Home?

The holiday season is quickly approaching and it seems everyone in the office here is finalizing their plans for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Since this will be my first holiday season with this company, there have been a lot of people asking if I plan on going home this holiday season. Everyone seems a bit confused about the fact that I spend Thanksgiving with Austin's dad's side of the family and Christmas with his mom's side. 

Most people just seem a bit confused but don't really question why I don't go to see my parents seeing as I've only been here six months, but people do seem all so concerned with the fact that I'm not going "home" for the holidays. Everyone I meet also seems intent on asking me one of many standard questions, one being "Where are you from?" I grew up as a military child and never really lived anywhere long enough to put down roots. So what do I consider home? Is it the place I was born but don't remember home? Is home any of the various houses or military bases I lived on while growing up? I can't think of any place I lived while growing up that I felt at home. So I usually resort to just explaining that I grew up moving from place to place and I'm from all over, really. 

And maybe this is part of the reason that the entire concept of "home" seems alien to me, I never had one. It was a completely normal thing for me to pack up and leave after living in a place for only a few years. That's just what people do, right? I've moved so many times that I'm more efficient at packing and moving than most professional movers. I have a system. I have lists. I have spreadsheets. I can pack up a house (well, an apartment) in a matter of a few days. I can unpack and get everything hung up in about five or six hours. 

So even while I've been out of the situation that I never had a choice about moving, it still feel natural. I've lived in Texas for four years and when I moved in August it was the fourth time moving. It isn't necessarily that I disliked the places I was living, but it feels normal to move. And signing that mortgage promising to stay somewhere for 30 years? That was terrifying. I haven't even been alive that long and here I am promising to stay in one place for 30 years? It seems insane. 

But now that I own a house, does this make this city my home? Does this mean that I have really set down root? Does this mean I can answer that this is my home? I know that a house doesn't necessarily make a home, but does a having a mortgage make Dallas my home? If I move in five years to another city or state or country, does that mean I can answer that I'm from Dallas? I've never been able to give people a straight answer when they ask where I'm from, do I now have the answer? 

I had never realized how much of my identity was ingrained in the fact that I don't put down roots. Now that I am a homeowner, it seems like that part of who I am is a bit confused. Is Dallas my home? When people ask where I'm from, do I now have an answer? When people ask if I'll be going home for the holidays, do I just say that this is home? 

Who knew buying a house would cause such an identity crisis.