Being a woman is difficult. Guys like to joke about the fact that it would be nice to have boobs in order to get stuff, but I don't think they really get it.
Being a woman means getting paid less than a man for doing the same job. Or doing the same job better. Being a woman means accepting the fact that you will get passed over for jobs because of your gender. It means accepting the fact that some women in the office will not like you because you are "competition" (regardless of whether or not you're actually in a relationship). Being a woman means people will expect you to wear certain clothes. Being a woman means people deciding whether or not your clothing is too tight or revealing. Because obviously men have no control over their urges.
Being a woman means listening to people catcall as you walk from your car to a restaurant. Being a woman means you have to accept these "compliments" or you're a frigid bitch. Being a woman means you have to sleep with a man after he buys you dinner a certain number of times or you're "leading him on". Being a woman means it was your fault for getting raped. Being a woman means you are responsible for a man's happiness because he has done a number of nice gestures. Being a woman means your goal in life is not a career but children otherwise you're selfish.
Being a woman means you ave to look like the models you see in commercials (even though the models don't look like that). Being a woman means you have to spend hundreds of dollars on makeup and cream and sprays in order to look acceptable. Being a woman means being held to unattainable beauty standards.Being a woman means you are only allowed to sleep with a certain number of men or you're a slut or a prude. Being a woman means you want marriage (to a man) and children. Being a woman means you need to have curves, but not too many. Being a woman mean being afraid of being too skinny. Being a woman means fearing natural things like aging because then we aren't valued. Being a woman means you need to rid yourself of body hair. Except your eyelashes and the hair on your head.
Being a woman means fearing large numbers, whether it is your age, weight or dress size. Being a woman means being afraid to call yourself a feminist. Being a woman means faking it even if he isn't doing it for you. Being a woman means not being able to tell him he isn't doing it because you can't hurt his ego. Being a woman means accepting if you're in a toxic relationship, you have to act just so or its your fault for staying. Being a woman means acting dumb.
Being a woman means using your body in order to get free meals and drinks. Being a woman means men acting like these are not real issues that happen every day. Being a woman means not being able to tell people that you were raped because it was your fault. Being a woman means you're pushing back women's rights if you want the "traditional" life of being a mother. Being a woman means not being able to make the decision of whether or not you want to have something growing inside of you. Being a woman means accepting that politicians have a right to make decisions for your body.
Being a woman means labeled as "crazy" simply having the audacity of breaking up with a man. Being a woman means you're emotional and not to be trusted. Being a woman means you're obviously PMSing every single time you're upset. Being a woman means you have to change if you want a relationship to work. Being a woman means not being allowed to someone on a date because that would be too forward. Being a woman means being shamed by your own body. Being a woman means remembering that "girls don't count". Being a woman means being bisexual is just a phase, a way to grab attention.
But you're right, being a woman is obviously all about how easy life is "because you have boobs".
Being a woman means fearing large numbers, whether it is your age, weight or dress size. Being a woman means being afraid to call yourself a feminist. Being a woman means faking it even if he isn't doing it for you. Being a woman means not being able to tell him he isn't doing it because you can't hurt his ego. Being a woman means accepting if you're in a toxic relationship, you have to act just so or its your fault for staying. Being a woman means acting dumb.
Being a woman means using your body in order to get free meals and drinks. Being a woman means men acting like these are not real issues that happen every day. Being a woman means not being able to tell people that you were raped because it was your fault. Being a woman means you're pushing back women's rights if you want the "traditional" life of being a mother. Being a woman means not being able to make the decision of whether or not you want to have something growing inside of you. Being a woman means accepting that politicians have a right to make decisions for your body.
Being a woman means labeled as "crazy" simply having the audacity of breaking up with a man. Being a woman means you're emotional and not to be trusted. Being a woman means you're obviously PMSing every single time you're upset. Being a woman means you have to change if you want a relationship to work. Being a woman means not being allowed to someone on a date because that would be too forward. Being a woman means being shamed by your own body. Being a woman means remembering that "girls don't count". Being a woman means being bisexual is just a phase, a way to grab attention.
But you're right, being a woman is obviously all about how easy life is "because you have boobs".
This is a great post Audrey. I admire the way you cover a lot about a woman's life (except the part about married women---probably in a later post?).
ReplyDeleteI'm a guy, and I respect women---especially those who make themselves easy to respect because they carry themselves with a sense of intrinsic value.
I think women should understand that not EVERY man must find you attractive. It's a bit silly to think every man should. So there's no need to kill yourself to look beautiful. A particular type of guy will like you.
Dress the way you like, but let the real identity you want to project show in your clothes. You can't dress to specifically attract attention to your breasts and expect a guy to think about your brains when he meets you.
But then, it's direct and indirect peer pressure that causes many of the problems you have listed here Audrey.
You were not created for EVERY guy. You don't need to please EVERY guy.
You have a right to your OWN choices. You have a right to excel. You have the right to be the best.
As regards being paid less for the SAME position as a guy, here's a fact: Hiring managers say women don't negotiate and are more willing to accept a lower pay than men.
Women need to understand that a woman's body should not constrain her to a life she does not want
Thank you so much for all of this!!
DeleteI loved your post! I am working on my thesis for a paper "what it means to be a Woman" and I was lost until I came across your post. This is real and I want to thank you for your insight, you are so wise! I put this on FB and my friends love it too :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you and your friends enjoyed this!
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