I have got to stop doing this to myself

I've never been the kind of person that gets overwhelmed. Even with school, work, ballet, and everything else happening in life, I've always been pretty good about keeping myself anchored. And on those few occasions that I do get overwhelmed, I turn into a stressed out psycho. Either that or I refuse to do any of the things I know need to be done. 

This past week, I've done the latter. 

Yes, I know I shouldn't have done it and putting everything off just leaves that much more work to do later, but I can't help it. Call it a character flaw. Shit happens. 

Why have I been so insanely busy this week as opposed to last week or the week before? Shouldn't I already have a good handle on my schoolwork due to the fact that Summer I is already halfway over? And shouldn't I have a good grasp on my responsibilities on this new job? And surely I must be relaxing knowing that I have fewer dance classes fewer days of the week, right? Well, no. 

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I spent all day from 8:00 until 5:00 at an insurance licensing course. Why? Because I need to be licensed by TDI (the Texas Department of Insurance) in order to work for this company. In order to get licensed, I needed to attend this three day cram course and learn all about insurance in order to pass a test covering information that I will never use again. And since I took this course this week, I wanted to take the test as soon as possible. Sadly, "as soon as possible" meant I either take it 

1. Three weeks from now on a weekday
2. At a testing center over an hour and a half away
3. Take it on Saturday at 8:00

I decided to go with Option 3 and take it at 8:00 and hope that I get done in time to get to my 9:00 ballet class. Also, this test has a 52% successful pass rat. Knowing that and the fact that I've worked in insurance for less than a month makes me very confident in this.... When I've had dance until 9:30 two days this week, that doesn't leave much time to actually look at this material and study.

Then there's school, oh school.... I shouldn't have let everything creep up on me like this, but I have. With this stupid licensing class and test, I've not done any of my actual school work. I can just hear the dings my GPA is taking by me not really doing any work. I have two tests and four quizzes that I have to have done by Saturday, but I honestly feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to do it all. In a few weeks, I get to start Summer II and I get to worry about two more classes and if they're going to interfere with the rest of my life.

But at least I can relax and not worry about buying a home and packing and moving at the end of August... No, I do. Since Austin and I have made the decision to buy a house and our lease is up in August, we're in the middle of trying to find a home. As a child, I only had to worry about if I liked the yard, which room I wanted, and what color I wanted my room to be. Now, I've come to see that buying a house is a very long, complicated process. And, we have to make sure we find a house we actually like. I refuse to just settle on a house because we feel like we need to pick one now. 

The smart thing to do would be to prioritize and take a breath. But I guess I just like to make things complicated. I've refused to so much as look at any of my textbooks, look at starting the packing process, or so much as write a decent blog post. Now, I know I can't do that any more. I've got to stop ignoring my list and start getting things done. 

If I don't, there's a very real chance I might have an anxiety attack just from this process of look at my list, ignore my list. 

I live a dangerous life

Dance Recitals are Dangerous

I did it! I finished my first recital! Not only as a dancer, but also acting as a dance class mom! And, all things considered, it went pretty well.

First, I would just like to say congratulations to all of the dancers at Arabesque for another beautiful recital. Many people don't realize all of the time and effort that goes into a recital. Honestly, before this year, I was one of those people. Not only do the dancers and their teachers put forth a lot of effort in the months leading up to the recital, but so do the moms, the volunteers, the assistants, and the stage hands. Without all of these people to make a recital, they would never be as great as they are. Acting not only as a dancer but also as a dance class mom, I found out just how much work goes into making sure that the audience sees a beautiful production. Congratulations to everyone that was involved in this year's annual production.

Even though I was only in four dances in this year's recital, I spent most of my time running around trying to get my girls all ready for their dances. And when several of my girls were in 7+ dances, it made for a busy day of running around backstage to get accessories, shoes, and to help dress them. Also, since one of my girls slid down the steps during the dress rehearsal, I spent much of my free time during dress rehearsal making sure she wasn't too upset or hurt. I was glad that the crayons and coloring book I brought for the girls came in handy. Instead of spending the dress rehearsal upset she might not dance, she was able to distract herself. After my stint as a dance class mom, I definitely have more respect and appreciation for the dance moms.

Also, as I mentioned before (you know, in the paragraph you just read) one of the girls slid down some steps backstage during the dress rehearsal. Actually, it was before dress rehearsal even started. This girl is an amazing dancer and was in 9 or 10 dances in the show. And, when any dancer hurts her foot or leg, it is a very devastating thing to deal with on show day. When you've been practicing for months and months and bought your costumes and been to all of the rehearsals, having something happen before you even step out on stage is just heart breaking. After our lunch break, I was thrilled to hear she was going to be doing all but two of her dances. And this girl danced beautifully. By the end she was in extreme pain and ready to get off the stage, but she did a great job and everyone was proud of her.

But, alas, she wasn't the only injury to happen. Another one of my girls fell mid dance. Again, another fabulous dancer who had also been dancing for 10+ years that had to deal with an injury. Sadly, since she fell mid-dance and there were only a few more dances left, four dances that she had to do. She didn't really take time to assess the damage, she just changed and went on to her next dance. And the next. And the next. And the finale. A few people told me later that they were amazed that not only she went back out, but when she danced she didn't show that she was in any pain. She danced beautifully and was thrilled when the final curtain closed and she could relax and get off the stage.

Also, another one of my girls (again, she's in 10+ dances and been dancing just as long) was incredibly sick the day before. She managed to get strep and didn't make it to rehearsals the day before. She told us she had to have two shots and still felt pretty terrible. Yet, when she got out there, she was just beautiful and perfect. I'm so glad she was able to make it through all of her dances and do such a great job. Even though she was a bit out of it the entire day... But I guess that's what two large shots of antibiotics will do to a girl.

I'm proud not only of my girls that danced through their pain, but all of the other girls. Also, since this was Mel's and my first recital, we were excited to get through the entire thing without any mistakes (I'm just as amazed as you are). It was a fabulous experience and I can't wait for next year's!

Although, I could do without two of my girls getting hurt and one being incredibly sick.

Was Scar really that bad?

I've been on a major Disney kick for the past several weeks. Maybe it's due to the fact that I'm getting older and trying to recapture my youth, but I've watched several movies repeatedly that I loved as a child. One of the movies I've watched three or four times in the past two weeks is Lion King. And you know what I realized? Scar really isn't that bad of a guy.

Yes, he wanted to kill his brother and his nephew, and that is terrible. But, as far as villains go, Scar looked more like a bad guy than he actually ever was.

First, we see that Scar hated Simba when the little cub goes bouncing into his little area of Pride Rock talking nonstop about the fact that he's going to be king of Pride Rock. Now, if you were raised up as a child, wouldn't you be a bit peeved that some little runt is bouncing around what is essentially your living room bragging about the fact that you, in fact, wont be king. Scar always thought that at some point he would be king after Mufasa got too old (or died).

Then you have the fact that Scar's main allies were the hyenas. Was this because he promised them land? Fortunes? Or did he just promise that the hyenas would "never go hungry again"? That's right... The hyenas were starving and always running out of food. Mufasa had banished them to a shadowed no-man's-land where nothing grew and they had to scavenge for food. Three hyenas were over the moon about the fact that scar brought them one partial leg of a zebra to eat. Isn't that a bit sad? They were starving and wanted nothing more than a leader that would at least give them a way to survive.

Lastly, Scar got blamed for winter. If Scar had the "formal" training needed in order to be king, he would have planned for the winter when herds moved on. He would have either had the pride move along with the other herds they relied on for food or he would have done something to make sure there was food that would last them through the winter. scar obviously did not plan for the winter. So, when the herds moved on because of winter and the plants died because of winter there was obviously a food shortage. And, apparently it is Scar's fault that winter hit the Pride Lands.

Yes, I know that Scar was a pretty screwed up guy. There had to be some sort of family issues in the pride when he was growing up with Mufasa. If there hadn't been some sort of family issues, would Mufasa have thought it was so funny at the idea that he would "make a lovely throw rug"? Out of all the Disney villains, Scar really is the one that is the one that looks more evil than he actually is.

I can't believe it's been almost two weeks!!

I can't believe that I haven't posted anything for almost two weeks! In my defense, life has been insanely crazy these past two weeks. Just as a catch up, I figured I'd let you all in on some of the excitement that's been going on in my life lately.

First, as I posted briefly about, my little brother graduated. Austin and I took off all of last week in order to go to Little Rock to actually be able to watch him graduate. Even though I haven't been able to have any sort of relationship with the rest of my family, I've been able to keep in touch with my brother and keep that relationship. So, even though I was planning on getting a new job and had to change a ton other plans in order to insure that I was able to get off work for this, it was worth it. Yeah, I had to cancel a lot of other plans and plans that Austin and I were planning on doing in order to make it back to work for the last two days there, but it was all worth it to watch my little brother walk across that stage.

Also, I started a new job this week! I've started at a company as a marketing assistant, a job that I really feel like I could have for many, many years. Throughout this week, I've realised that I'm going to have a lot of training to do and I'll be learning a new industry from the ground up, I feel like I really will like this job. Not only are all of the people great, but the position itself is very interesting. I've already met several wonderful people and can't wait to continue. And I'll have the opportunity to learn more at one of this company's semi-annual get-togethers. It seems like a lot of fun (and we all get to leave work and head over to Dave and Busters at 1:00).

I've also been working on the final stages of the spring dance production. The production is on the 10th and it is my first one to be in, so I am a bit nervous. Also, since I'm now in five dances, I have even more work to do. So, whenever I'm not at work, I'm practicing my dances. I'm really looking forward to the show and I think it will be a really great show. Also, I'll also be receiving a trophy for completing my Cecchetti I exam in February.

So, hopefully things will slow down a bit soon and I'll get back to posting on a more regular basis. Until then, though, don't be too heartbroken that I'm not posting as often as I was before.