Dear Justin

Dear Justin,

 

The past couple months have been pretty terrible. I don't know how it got to the point it did, but it did. Despite everything you ever told me, I ended up with a major dick. I know, you would say I should have left immediately.

 

But you're not here.

 

And there are days, much like today, when I miss you terribly and all the things that you would say to help make these awful situations not so terrible. This wouldn't be so bad with you here.

 

But you're not here. And it isn't fair.

 

You would think after so many years this wouldn't still hurt and it wouldn't be a problem , but times like this remind me why I miss you. Why did you have to go so soon? We had so much we had planned. And me getting married to an abusive asshole was not part of that plan.

 

I've been listening to so many of 'your' songs and it makes me sad and I know it shouldn't. I should probably learn to let go, but a small part of me hopes that wherever you are now you can still see this. But hey, I finally got out. That has to count for something, right?

 

I miss you.