Eureka!

Have you ever had those moments where you just suddenly know exactly what you want to do with the rest of your life? That's pretty much how my entire weekend was. Maybe it was due to the lack of sleep and waking up at an ungodly hour that led me to have plenty of time to think about the future, maybe it was just the fact that I always knew but I was afraid to actually acknowledge it, maybe it is some other unknown contributing factor that led me to this realization. Either way, I've come to know that there are several changes I need to make in my life.

My plan thus far for college has been to be a business major and just continue in the line of work I am currently in. It isn't so much the fact that I like my job, I just knew that I needed a degree that would help me advance my career and I could make a decent living off of. I don't dislike my job, but it isn't what I want to do for the rest of my life. And, honestly, I don't want to work in business. I don't want to be in this corporate world like I thought I would. I briefly toyed with the idea of getting some form of art degree and doing something with that, but that idea was quickly tossed aside. Art is something I like to do for me, for friends, not for profit. If I started to use an outlet that I have for my emotions, I would quickly become miserable and burnt out on it. I even considered the possibility of teaching art. Then I realized what half the students that were in my art classes were like and I know I couldn't put up with that for long. I know that if I was teaching a class and pouring my heart into something I loved, and kids were just blowing it off, I would quickly come to resent my job. So that went out the window.

This all left me where I started in the beginning: What do I want to do with my life? What do I want to be?

Then it hit me, I want to be a writer. Not just having a blog to write about whatever catches my eye, I want to write and make a difference. I have no idea how I will be able to do this, but this is a direction that I know that I could never grow tired of. I find a joy in writing that I don't find in anything else. This is something that I've always wanted to do, deep down, but I've always thought it was just a silly dream that I could never have. But why can't I have this? What is keeping me from achieving this dream? Only myself. And I'm getting tired of standing in the way of myself.

I know this isn't something I can do over night, it will take a lot of sacrificing and struggling in order to get to the job I want, but this is something that I'm willing to make sacrifices for. Since this is all pretty new to me and I wouldn't know where to start, I'm going to start off by talking to my composition professor tonight so she might be able to help me figure out where I want to take this, which path I want to take, which profession would suite me best.