Maybe it is time to move forward

Everyone in the US knows that today marks the anniversary of the attacks in New York City and Washington DC twelve years ago. News outlets across the country are flooded with stories about how important it is to remember the lives that were lost and the way we came together as a country and the men and women that serve our country. There are countless articles about remembering today and "where were you" when you first heard the news.
 
But, at some point, we have to try and move on. To heal.
 
I'm not saying that we should all forget what happened. Even if we wanted to, that would be an impossible task. Stepping into an airport would be a quick reminder of how much things changed because of the events that took place. But we do need to try and move forward and move past what happened. Having an annual reminder and trying to memorialize what happened is a bit excessive. Yes, over two thousand people died in the span of a few hours due to these terrible acts of violence. But, in comparison with the number of lives lost due to poverty and war and random acts of violence, this number pales in comparison. It is terrible that over two thousand innocent people lost their lives, but so too are the thousand innocent people killed in Syria a few weeks ago.

There comes a point when the mantra of "never forget" changes from "never forget what happened" to "never forget what they did." While it is important to honor the firefighters and police officers and civilians that stepped up on this day, sometimes this "remembrance" only seeks to fuel an intolerance and hatred that is already deeply rooted in this culture. I've seen more posts today about how much better the world would be without Muslims or Iraq or Afghanistan or any other of a number of countries than I would like to admit I've seen. The level of hate that I've seen from some people today has been disgusting.
 
There are also so many families that dread this day because they were personally affected by these attacks and lost a loved one. These families are haunted by this day that is celebrated every year. While they have spent the past twelve years trying to grieve and move on with their lives, seeing these pictures and stories about "Remember 9/11" only bring back the horror that they lived through. The events that day are politicized, discussed and posted about by people that have no idea what it was like to see those planes hit or to have to find out that a family member or a friend was lost.
 
If you want to remember the 2,976 Americans that died today in these attacks, don't forget to remember the 48,644 Afghan lives and 1,690,903 Iraqi lives and 35,000 Pakistani lives that were all lost due to these terrible acts that they did not commit.

When I am empty, please dispose of me properly

I've recently stumbled upon this thread. For those days when nothing I'm writing seems to be coming out right, I think I'll try one of these. I've had a bit of a slump the past couple of weeks and think working on something short and simple, something I don't have to decide on, will be a nice change.
 
"When I am Empty, Please Dispose of me Properly"
 
When I am empty, don't leave me to rot away in the ground. It really is quite a waste. Think about the little girl that needs a new cornea, I could help her see. Think about the little boy that needs a lung, I could help him run. Think about all the good I could do when you break me down and take me apart. There are so many out there waiting for their second chance at life because they were cursed with faulty mechanics. Don't leave them to suffer when I can give them their first chance to live a real life. Remember those that are in need.
 
When I am empty, there's no reason for you to not pass around what I have left. The blood that remains can go to those in need during the next hurricane. The marrow in my bones can help heal someone with cancer. The things I have taken for granted can go to help someone without it. I always meant to give blood more often, but the thought of needles terrified me. I wanted to be able to help those in need of bone marrow but I was too afraid to do it. Remember those I can help.

When I am empty, think about what I can still give to others. I know I may not have done the best about helping others, but that really is all I want. While in life i may have been useless to others, at least after I go I can finally make a difference. There were many times I wanted to do the right thing and I didn't, let me at least do something right in death. Remember all of the good I can do.
 
 
When I am empty, please dispose of me properly.
 
Or, at the very least, remember how much I am worth.
On the black market.
 
Where you can get $1,500 for my eyes. Or $350 for each pint of blood. Or you can get up to $270,000 for a kidney or even $160,000 for my liver. And don't forget about my heart. No matter the condition it was in when I left, it can make you an easy $120,000.
 
So remember, when I am empty, dispose of me properly.   

August Update

I feel like I've really been slacking in keeping up with regular updates here. I'm sorry about that because there have been a lot of changes within the last month alone. Instead of trying to create a post for each one, I figured it would just be easier to make one master post of everything that has been going on the past few months.
 
First up, I got a new job on the first of August! It has been a whirlwind trying to learn all of the new reporting systems and everything that comes with starting a new job. Of course, the first few days were spent training and learning my new role, but I feel like I'm up and running now and ready for more responsibilities. I feel like I've really caught on quick and I'm going to be able to grow with this company. There's also been a possibility for me to make a change (within the company) to something with a bit more responsibilities. This is all still very early so I don't want to say too much and jinx myself, but I would love to be able to get this. It would be a big change in some ways which makes it a bit scary, but I think I need this change. And I really, really want this.
 
Second, I'm back in dance. Every summer, there's a three week break from classes and that break really makes me feel lazy. Even though I do keep up with basic barre work, it just isn't the same as actually being in class. I've also started taking classes at a second studio and I'm looking forward to seeing how the style of ballet compares to the Cecchetti I'm so used to. I've been working on my grade III Cecchetti and hope to take the exam soon because for Grade IV, you have to choreograph a dance. Even though I don't have to start working on it yet, I have. I've been working on two dances, one is to a classical piece and the other to a more modern song. I don't know how long it will take for me to finish these (because choreographing is hard) but I'm hoping that by taking classes at two studios I'll be able to create something really amazing for both dances.
 
On the subject of things that are hard and impossible, I've been writing a book! The past month I've been in the planning stages, creating characters, fleshing out the places, and working on the overall storyline. And I think I'm actually making great progress. I've decided that I'm going to try to generate a chapter every other week (fingers crossed I can actually stick to this schedule). I also found this ARTICLE of writing advice from Chuck Palahniuk which I'm going to use when I go back to edit when I'm done, or close to done.

GISHWHES ended last Sunday and, as someone that never has participated before, I can say that it was an amazing and insane week. I met a lot of great people from across the world on my team and I can't seem to stop gushing about how much I loved it. Like many people, it seems like I'm going through GISHWHES withdrawl, so I'm hoping to be a part of the volunteer team that helps to put together the coffee table book. While I'm
 
I was planning on starting my classes at UTD this semester but due to the fact that I started a new job on the first, I pushed it back to the Spring semester. It really has been nice to enjoy the summer off, without any stress of classes, and I must say I'm a bit worried about taking such a break from school. I know that it was in my best interest to defer my enrollment to the Spring so that I could really focus on learning this new role, but I'm also going to miss taking classes. Especially since I've now gotten to the point that I'm taking a lot of classes I really enjoy and look forward to.  
 
Lastly, on a more personal note, I've finally started taking medication. I've known for years that I suffer from anxiety, depression and panic attacks, but I've never actually gone to get medication to help me deal with these issues. And now, after being on medication for over a month to deal with them (as well as ADD), I don't know why I haven't don't this sooner. I really feel like a different person. While I have realized that there are certain things I can no longer do, I generally feel like a better person. It isn't like I'm taking a single miracle pill that just makes me "normal"and I do still struggle with some of the same things, they don't feel quite so overwhelming. I'm also trying to adjust to the fact that I can't do things, like go to a bar and drink, like I used to because (shockingly) alcohol and a cocktail of medication really doesn't mix well. Since this didn't occur to me that past few times I've gone out to have drinks, the nights have ended poorly. But, I guess it is all about making adjustments and changing my life to fit a lifestyle that will, in the long run, make me a happier, more balanced person.
 
As I continue this journey, I'm sure you will all see more posts about it because I had never considered taking medication because there is a serious stigma about mental health that people just need to get over it and deal with their problems on their own. Taking that first step to actually talk to a professional about the fact that I have had panic attacks while trying to have a "fun" night out was terrifying. I know I'll make more mistakes as I learn to balance what I can and cannot do. But hey, at least I'm working on it.

GISHWHES - Wrap Up

Sunday, GISHWHES wrapped up. As a first-time participant in GISHWHEs, I really wasn't sure what to expect. I knew that there would be a list of a number of very strange items that I would be working with fourteen other people across the globe to collect. I knew that it would push me out of my comfort zone to work on these items with people I had never met before.
 
What I wasn't expecting was the amazing sense of community that arose in only a week. A part of me knew (vaguely) about GISHWHES from last year and how people came together in order to complete certain tasks. I knew that if my team wanted any shot of winning, we would have to really come together and work together. I wasn't expecting other people within GISHWHES to be so amazing and supportive as well. I wasn't expecting so many people that had no idea what GISHWHES was to be willing to help.
 
And, in the midst of so many terrible things happening every day, it is amazing to see something like this happen. When there are kids out htere killing innocent people because, quite simply, they're bored, it is amazing to know that an entirely different group of people can come together to break the Guinness World Record for the largest online photo album of people hugging. Reading the news can really make you think the world is an awful place and that people are really just terrible. But then something like GISHWHES happens and CEO's of different companies are willing to make people smile by dancing to Single Ladies and random people across the internet are helping me raise over $400 in diapers in a matter of THREE days for the Genesis Women's Shelter and thousands of people spent time with a random stranger trying to cheer them up during dialysis treatment and people are going with friends to donate blood.
 
I know that the good does not cancel out the bad, but sometimes that isn't what we need. We need to just simply know that there is good in the world. That people are good.
 
And I think that is what GISHWHES is all about.
 
Well, that and taking pictures dressed as stormtroopers.

GISHWHES: Bungee Jumping

So, I was tasked with the bungee jumping item on the scavenger hunt. Even though the clip submitted was only 30 seconds of the jump itself, I decided to make a longer, more vlog-style post for all of you. Long story short: bungee jumping is awesome and I want to go again.

Bonus points: this means I get my Lifescouts badge for this, too!!