Be with someone that makes you happy (even if everything is going wrong)

The saying goes: It’s not where you are, it’s who you’re with. And it couldn’t be more true — as long as you’re with the right person.

Find the person you want to be with no matter what, because being together is so much better than being apart. The one who makes your surroundings slip away because their presence is the only aspect of your surroundings that really counts. The one who inspires you to abandon your routine and all of your daily comforts in the name of togetherness because there’s nothing more comforting than the way you feel when they’re nearby. The one who makes swimming a thousand miles with a cramped leg, crossing the Sahara with a single canteen of water, or traipsing through a foreign land with $20 to your name sound like totally reasonable measures — if that’s what it takes to reunite.

This person will never fail to make you smile in the least likely circumstances. This person will make every leg of an unpleasant journey totally bearable, even pleasurable. This person will push you to find happiness where you’ve long forgotten happiness exists, nudging the dormant pieces of your soul residing deep within.

They will move you to wake up at sunrise even if you’re not a morning person so you can tear off your clothes while running through the sand and skinny dip. They will motivate you to stay up long past midnight for a late night stroll even when you’re exhausted because one more hour of wakefulness together is always worth it. They will make you forget the pesky concerns that typically stop you from doing certain things — all those little worries that filter your ability to truly embrace the world.

This is the person you need, because not all of life is actually all that fun unless you grab it by the horns and tame it as you go. Real life involves countless hurdles, both big and small. But if you can tackle those obstacles head on — not just grit your teeth and bear the difficulties you’re destined to face, but approach them as good times waiting to be discovered — you will always be fine. The right person will help you see this.

Couples that know how to smile together in the least likely circumstances don’t have to rely on anything but each other. Even when things go terribly wrong, all they have to do is feed off of their love. Nothing can stop them from finding the rose buried deep inside a pile of thorns, the never-ending depths of their bond an oxygen tank they can always draw upon.

They don’t need fancy hotel rooms. They don’t need big celebrations or elaborate feasts or good weather to enjoy themselves or to craft lasting memories. They don’t need a wifi connection or social media feeds to help pass the time. They take life as it comes — bliss, devastation, boredom, and all — because as long as they’re together, nothing else matters. At all.

There is so much power in loving someone with all of your heart and letting that love guide you day in and day out. So go find the person who helps you adjust the lens through which you see life’s darkest parts. When you do, you will feel automatically stronger. Better equipped to live. Better prepared to take risks. Better positioned to smile, even when it seems impossible. 

Is love a risk worth taking?

Jumping out into the horizon with nothing more than hope and a parachute—it seems like one of the biggest risks a human can take. The security of solid ground gone, you are caught in the battle between gravity and air resistance—and for those few seconds you are completely vulnerable to science and chance. But, the truth is, out of every 101,083 skydives there is one fatality. Not really as risky as it sounds.

Yet, across the world, billions of people participate in a bigger risk–not with their physical safety, but their heart: falling in love.

With all the thrill and risk involved with that sky dive, truth is, you’re likely more “safe” gliding with a parachute with a statistically predictable safe ending, than you are in a relationship. Humans are too much of a variable to place any bets on.

It’s like a game of emotional Russian roulette. When you’re successful at it, it’s a beautiful wonder. When you’re not, it’s an excruciating tragedy.

To strip down your defenses, to show all sides of yourself, to feel without guarantee of reciprocation, to give yourself to someone without any predictable outcome, to become completely vulnerable to heartache at the hands of another person—that, to me, is true risk.  And billions of people are emotional dare-devils, blissfully diving into the unknown, feeling that exhilarating rush of endorphins. It’s the necessary risk that drives the human race. We all, in some capacity, want to love and be loved in return.

Yet, some of us walk around in a suit of armor–trying to protect ourselves from the unknown. We hide behind a veil of independence because relying on yourself is easier than facing the disappointment and rejection from someone else, but, the truth is, we end up hurting ourselves. We deprive ourselves of life’s most precious and rewarding resource–love. Sure, mining for it can be a bitch in this world, but when you find it in it’s purest form it’s worth every risk and effort.

So, to all you risk takers out there, enjoy and celebrate your love.

And, to the rest of us who are a little battered and bruised from this journey—keep on being daredevils. There are no great rewards without a little bit of risk.

When a Writer Falls in Love

When a writer falls in love, their work blooms into a form of art that expresses the deep emotion they feel for their lover. The word “difficult” doesn’t reach the intensity of trouble that comes with any attempt of writing. It is in every way challenging, a complexity you cannot understand enough to overcome. It becomes onerous. Because somehow, every idea, every thought, and every word that escapes my mind, written by pen onto paper becomes something influenced by you. This influence, this love, it becomes impenetrable.

My focus could be the beauty of the sun. The bright, radiant light it provides that gleams over us all. I could inform my readers about how much I appreciate the sun due to my fear of the night. How the sun is the star located at the center of the solar system, and how without the sun there would be no earth. Yet quickly, the sun would become a synonym for you. For the comfort you provide me with, for the way there would be no me without you. The sun would become you within a few sentences. I would get lost in my writing, convinced that I am writing about the sun when in all reality I am writing about you.

I am able to begin a memoir on the life of a sad young girl. It would focus on her running away, the way she survived a rape, or how she overcame depression. There would be so many different life lessons and memories I have the chance to touch upon. However, I know somehow I’d find myself fast-forwarding to the moment she meets you.

I could take on an assignment in which would involve writing a review on a book, a play, or even a movie. An assignment that would involve my opinion and nothing else yet somehow, I’d discover another approach to mention how I had discussed it with you.

Incipiently, I created this belief that you had clouded my thoughts. Becoming a voluminous mental block for anything other than you. Though, I realize now that you have become nothing other than my biggest motivation. On one occasion I read, “If you make a writer fall in love, you will never die”, and never before did I make sense of this quote meant until I met you. In any lifetime and in any story, you have become my biggest inspiration. On the days I love you unconditionally, through the good and the bad. You have become my main character. My muse. My creative influence.

A writer in love can be oblivious to this unconscious need to convey their intoxicating love for another. A writer in love could be dangerous. But what danger exists without some form of beauty? 

When I say "I love you"

When I say ‘I love you’, it means that I treasure your heart. It means that I value you. And it means that I see a future with you.

When I say ‘I love you’, it means that I trust you with my whole soul. It means that you being happy, makes me happy. And it means that I would never ever want to do anything to hurt you.

So, when I say, ‘I love you’, please do not take it lightly.

For me, the word ‘love’ holds weight. It means something to me. It means something more than ‘I like you’ or, ‘I have a crush on you’. To me, ‘I love you’, means that I see my universe pointed in your direction. It means that I recognize how lucky I am to have you. And when I say it to you, please remember that when I say ‘I love you’, it means that I always will.

I don’t love lightly. I don’t love gently or softly. I love hard. Some may say I even love too much. But I would rather love hard any day than to take that sentence lightly. I would rather love too much, than to never love at all.

When I say, ‘I love you’ it means that no matter what, waking up to you would be my idea of the perfect morning. It means that no matter what, sleeping next to you would be my idea of a perfect night. It means that I want to keep waking up to you, each and every morning and each and every transition from fall to summer. When I say, ‘I love you’ it means that I can picture what a future looks like with you. And it means that I want one.

So, please, do not take those three words with a grain of salt. Don’t shrug at me, or smile a sly little smile. Acknowledge my love. Feel it. Accept it. And if you feel the same, than take my heart with yours.

When I say, ‘I love you’, I mean it. I’m not saying it just to make you happy. I’m not saying it to be romantic. I’m not saying it because I feel like I have to, or because I feel like there’s a deadline I have to reach.

‘I love you’ means that I want to spend hours talking with you at midnight. It means that I want to grow old with you and still call you perfect even when your wrinkles start to show. It means that even if we end, my love won’t dim. My love for you will never end.

So when I say that to you, please believe me. And when you are ready to say it back to me, only say it when you truly mean it. Only say it when you believe in me too. 

You are strong. You are brave.

Anxiety and depression. It is culminated in the constant thinking, worrying about everything, and letting it affect your life. The frustration, the self-loathing and the endless hours of time drowning in your own all-consuming thoughts.

I know it all because I’ve been there. Through every panic attack and mental breakdown alone in my room or in a room full of strangers, I’ve experienced it all. I can relate.

It’s easy to feel like you’re alone in it all. It’s easy to convince yourself that you’re not good enough for others because of your need to overanalyze every little thing, where the thoughts race through your head at a mile a minute every day. That’s the problem with anxiety and depression; it makes it so easy for you to believe the

Anxiety and depression can be crippling. It grasps your mind and body and doesn’t let go, no matter how many times you convince yourself it doesn’t exist in your body. It can make you feel weak and useless. But, you know what? It actually makes you the strongest person in the world.

Imagine waking up every morning to face the same issue day in and day out. You are doing just that, facing your own inner demons every single day. And it makes you stronger. Your anxiety and depression is making you stronger, no matter how much it feels like it is eating away at your insides and taking over your life.

Not only are you strong, but you are brave. You are brave for not simply giving in. You are brave for living your everyday life even though your mind is telling you that it is not worth the pain. And anxiety and depression can be painful to the point where you feel the need to hole up in your room and let the tears spill out. Crying out the frustration becomes more appealing when your mind is constantly running at the speed of light, telling you you’re not worthy of the good things in life.

The demons you have to face are ones that live inside of you, and how brave are you to deal with them every minute of every day?
Even worse, it becomes so simple to look at others and compare yourself to them. Magnified by anxiety and depression, comparing myself to the world around me is something I find myself doing every day. I want to stop, but sometimes my mind won’t let me.

There are times when I look in the mirror and hate what I see. My mind is constantly telling me to be skinnier, prettier and just better. And guess what? You’ll believe it because who do you trust more than yourself? It is a never-ending cycle of thoughts that can keep you awake all night long. But it’s not just you.

Sometimes you feel embarrassed or ashamed, but anxiety and depression is something so common. Millions of people go through the same thing each and every day and they understand. The last thing you are in this world is alone in your fight against yourself.

It is time for us to stop feeling embarrassed for being in our own heads. There historically has been a stigma associated with anxiety and depression, but the more people talk about it, the more that stigma will end up becoming the norm.

Overcoming this won’t be easy or an overnight fix. But that is okay. And you need to remember that.

Each day that you get up and go on with life is a day that you’ve won the battle. Each day you take on the world is a little victory.

So, do one thing that scares you each day. Be brave. Because as those small victories become the norm, you’ll begin to realize that anxiety and depression may be a part of your life, but they certainly don’t define it.