Get Your Boehner out of my Uterus

When Obama was campaigning in order to gain the Presidential nomination and later the actual race to the White House, he made the same promise many Democrats who came before him promised: There will be national healthcare. During the short time that he had a Democratic House and Senate, Obama shocked the nation by pushing this through and being able to provide a national health care bill. Republicans have never been happy about this fact. Now, with the next Presidential election approaching, they have decided to deem this health care bill a “War on Religion” due to the fact that religious institutions would be required to offer birth control to any women they employ. Republicans have recently taken up the great call to interfere with women’s rights, most notably their right to birth control. By taking up these causes, Republican leaders are taking away the rights that women have fought for years to attain.

The Roman Catholic Church has opposed birth control use for decades. Pope Paul VI reiterated the Roman Catholic Church’s view in 1968 when he issued the Humanae Vitae. It is one of the core beliefs of their faith that life begins at conception, thus birth control of any sort is destroying this sacred life. Pope Paul VI also stated that sex is meant only for natural procreation, thereby condemning extramarital sex, premarital sex, and sex for pleasure. If the government is forcing all American companies and places of employment to provide birth control to their female employees, then this is a direct violation of the Church and should not be upheld. Even the United States Constitution states that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” Forcing the Roman Catholic Church to distribute birth control and go against their doctrine is breaking this core foundation of the nation. The roman Catholic Church has ignored the fact that there is great disparity between the rich and the poor, another pillar of the Catholic faith. There have been hundreds of thousands of people crying out about the income disparity, yet the Church has remained oddly silent. Even though it has recently been widely publicized that roughly 98% of Catholic women use some form of birth control, contraception is still an issue that the Church feels interferes with their religious freedom.

In late January, it was announced that Obama’s health care would cover birth control for women across the country. January 20^th it was announced that there would be changes to the current national health care that would go into effect next year. Birth control and contraception will be completely covered by all employers. If the health care plan was not fully put into effect by employers, they would be fined $2000 per employee annually. Obama and his administration were willing to meet with religious officials to ensure that this would not hinder their rights, but he was only met with opposition at every turn. The Roman Catholic Church insisted that this was infringing on their rights and nothing could be done in order to appease their worries that this would take away the rights of the members of the faith to freely practice religion. The Church claimed that the government could not mandate that employers provide healthcare when it was in direct violation of their faith.

The Roman Catholic Church and many Republicans feel that mandating birth control be covered, not forced down anyone’s throat, is interfering with their religious freedom. This provision is not forcing anyone to take birth control. It is simply another preventative medication that is covered. Contraceptive measures that would be covered are like other medications, like Viagra, that are currently covered. Does everyone use Viagra? Does the Church get up in arms that Viagra, a pill that lets men interfere with God’s decision on whether or not they should be able to impregnate their wives, is currently covered by insurance companies? No, the Church and Republican leaders are solely concerned with what a woman does to her own body.

The Speaker of the House, John Boehner, has spoken out multiple times against the President and Democrats that favor the health care bill. Boehner has even gone so far as to call this an attack on religion by the federal government. He has long called many of Obama’s more “radical” policies an attack on religion. When Obama called for the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Boehner was quick to say this was the liberal bias that is ruining the country and our military. When this health care provision was proposed, he began to tell media outlets that the government was promoting abortions and abortions would be funded by the US government. This battle cry against state-funded abortions has been picked up by many conservatives. This is also one of the major reasons people oppose the birth control mandate, they have heard it is also going to fund abortions. Many conservatives have not given much thought to the claims made, they just take up the cry and perpetuate the lies spread. Does anyone recall the “death panels” that were said would go into effect? Or the fact that Obama is not even real United States citizen and was born outside of the country?

When the White House issued the statement that birth control would be provided as a preventative measure to women, free of charge, the backlash from the Church was instantaneous and loud. Even though the Obama administration has clarified that religious institutions are exempt from this ruling, the Church is still up in arms. Government officials have clarified several times that houses of worship and church affiliated organizations are exempt from the birth control mandate, but this is not good enough for the Church. The Church and many Republican officials have called for the government to remove all mentions of the birth control mandate. There was even a debate held in Congress, with the ability to call witnesses on both sides of the debate, led by Representative David Issa. The debate that Issa wanted to lead centered not around women’s rights or even birth control, the issue that Republicans had with the health care provisions was the infringement of religious freedom. Issa was outraged that religious freedom was being stepped on in favor of this health care provision.

Even though the debate itself was called over the issue of birth control and the fact that it is going to be available, Issa claimed that this was not a women’s issue. He felt that a group of older men would be the key witnesses on the issue of birth control and would have more knowledge than any woman. Issa claimed that this was not about women’s rights, even though it was only the matter of birth control for women that was an issue, so women had no place in this debate. Many Democrats were enraged that a panel of religious leaders, all male, were the ones that had authority to speak on a woman’s right to birth control. The panels did not have a single legal scholar on them, either. This meant that there was no one to speak on whether this provision really was unconstitutional or not.

Republicans are constantly calling for an end to big government, but wouldn’t it be nice if this group of men would stop pretending they knew anything about what life with a vagina is like? Many women do not take birth control for the “birth control” aspect of it. Many use it to relieve the symptoms of a painful menstruation cycle. Women might choose to use birth control in order to be able to skip periods altogether. Some women might use birth control to help regulate their periods, this way they don’t have to constantly wonder when it will happen. Men that sit in Congress assume that any woman that is on birth control is using it so she can have sex without the repercussions of a baby. Conservatives ignore all of the other reasons a woman might need access to birth control, or why they might want help paying for it. Birth control is not cheap. Even though many Representatives believe otherwise, this birth-control-using-woman knows otherwise. Birth control is very , very expensive. A woman on a hormonal birth control pill can spend up to $18,000 in the thirty years in her lifetime that she is using birth control.

If the US government was forcing women of all religions to take birth control and forcing men to wear condoms, this would be infringing on the religious freedom of these people. The provision that everyone is throwing a fit over is just providing an option to women who need assistance. Women have fought long and hard to be able to decide what to do with their own bodies. Women are competent people who are able to decide what to do with their own bodies. We do not need a bigoted man to tell us what to do. We do not need to have a religious body tell us we are not allowed to enjoy sex because it is only for the use of natural procreation. We especially will not stand for this when “natural procreation” is allowed between a priest and a little boy.

NED Awareness - An Eating Disorder is Not a Choice

I was only eleven when I started to worry about my weight. For the next ten years of my life, it would be something that I struggled with constantly and a battle that I fought every moment. I did not choose to get an eating disorder. I did not wake up one morning and think that it would be a good idea to stop eating. I was not oblivious to the effects that came with a restrictive diet. I did not find joy in counting every calorie I ate. I did not take joy in trying to "burn" every calorie I ate in order to be able to look at myself in the morning. I did not think it would be fun to wake up every morning and hate the way I look.

I could try and make excuses for how I got myself into this situation. I could try and justify it. But, the truth is, every single person that has dealt with this battle will have their own personal reasons as to what started them off on this path. Society tries to simplify into something generic like "They just want to have control over something in their life" or "They have low self esteem" or "They have been teased about weight." For me, it was no single cause. There was no single reason in life that caused me to go from being a happy child into a person that would obsess about every bite eaten and torture myself for every calorie. I was unhappy at home, I was teased, I did not have much control over my life, but none of these reasons were the reason that it all started. To me, it seems ridiculous and pointless to try and find the cause. I feel like the focus should be on reaching out and giving support.

At my lowest point, I weighed 90 lbs. Considering I was 5' 10" at this point, I know that it is extremely unhealthy. My parents seemed to ignore the fact that I stopped eating and was starting to disappear. My friends would try and talk to me about it, but I would be deaf to their concerns. A lot of people would say things along the lines of "You just need to eat and get over it" or "You're being selfish, don't you know there are people that don't have access to food??" I would assume they were genuinely concerned, but these things only pushed me more into my cycle of self-hate and starvation. I have always been very critical of myself and see flaws even where others do not. After I got to the point where eating even 200 calories a day was a struggle and I would feel like a failure, the criticism of others would only push me further into myself. I was obsessed with calories and food and exercise. If I knew I was going out with friends for dinner, I would plan my week around it so that I wouldn't "over eat." To me, it seemed like my eating habits (or lack thereof) were only affecting myself. I didn't see how it hurt the people around me. My relationships suffered, my grades suffered, my job suffered.

Once people began to realize that nothing they could say or do would get me out of the mindset I was in, most people stopped trying to help. A lot of people stopped trying to help and they just turned a blind eye to what was happening. For the past three years, I was eating on a regular basis, but I was also trying to "burn" the majority of things that I would eat. I would count calories and the number at the end of the day would determine my mood for the next day. If the number was too high, I would mentally berate myself for days and nothing could be said to change my mind about how I saw myself. I saw fat where others didn't. My self worth was determined by the number on the scale. Any comment about my weight, even if it was in a joking manner, would make me crazy. It got to the point that, after so many years, I saw the rest of the world as wrong. I had convinced myself that it was everybody else that had a problem overeating, I was just trying to be "healthy" and stay "fit." The fact that I was supposed to be eating at least 1500 calories more a day was a fact that just reinforced in my mind that it was everyone else that was eating too much.

There is no way to "cure" someone of an eating disorder. Just like any other mental illness, it is something that will be fought every day. It can be managed but it will never really go away. About three months ago, I came to the point in my life where I realized what I had been doing to myself for all of these years. For a decade, I had been starving myself and closing myself off from everyone that cared about me. I didn't want to be alone any more. I made the decision to try and be healthy, not skinny. I wanted to be the person that would be able to go out with friends and not have to do the math to figure out what I would have to do the next day to justify what I was eating and drinking to look normal. I wanted to be like everyone else. I didn't want to hate everything I saw in myself. I wanted to be happy. And, most of all, I didn't want a number to determine my happiness.

I wish I could say that I wake up every morning and feel wonderful about the way I look and I am completely comfortable in my own skin. I wish I could say that I no longer worry about what I eat or what I do to "balance" it all out. But, now I try not to let the number of calories eaten, the number of calories burned, the number on the scale all determine my happiness. I try to focus on being healthy and happy, not on hungry and skinny. I know I will probably struggle with this every day, every meal, but I am willing to try and fight what has become my natural tendency. I promised myself I would never again purge after going out with friends because I didn't "deserve" that night.

Unless someone has personally dealt with an eating disorder, they will never really know what the comments about a person's weight can do to another. They will never really understand the isolation that comes with this illness. They will never really know how to help. If any of my readers ever need someone to talk to or someone to just listen, I will be here for each and every one of you. Nothing can be said to make a person change the way they think, the most I can do is promise to be here for you all.

This was a Fabulous Weekend!

This past weekend, Austin and I went to the ballet in Fort Worth. A few months ago, Austin had gotten me tickets because he knew that I really wanted to go and he wanted the first ballet that we to together to be great so he also spent several weeks looking into which ballet to go to. After much thought, he decided that we would go to the Texas Ballet's production of Dracula. Since it was originally written by the producer of the Fort Worth ballet and was taken everywhere (even Broadway) Austin thought it would be great for our first ballet.

The production was held in Bass Hall in Downtown Fort Worth, a building which in itself is a beautiful work of art. Since it was in Fort Worth, Austin also decided to get a hotel in Sundance Square so we could grab dinner and drinks beforehand. I have never been to Sundance Square before, so it really was quite an enjoyable experience. The hotel we stayed at was really lovely, and being downtown, we didn't have to worry about driving around. Because the hotel was downtown, we could walk around and enjoy the beautiful weather we had this past weekend. And, any time you're going to be drinking it's just nice to know you don't have to worry about driving.

Dinner was at a great Italian place, Taverna. It is a fairly new Italian pizzeria and risotteria that I don't think would hold more than 200 people. Taverna has a very intimate setting because it is a smaller restaurant. The wine selection was much better than most places, mostly because it is a higher-class Italian restaurant. Now, the important part: the food. We started with a bruschetta and it was absolutely delicious. Since we were both hungry, maybe that was that the reason we thought it was so great. By the time dinner arrived, we had both eaten enough to be able to actually decide how good it really was. I decided to order one of their risottos because this was a risotteria, a risotto con capesante. This a was a risotto with artichokes, roasted grape tomatoes, lemon confit, pan seared diver scallops, and pan juice. Austin went with fettucine frutti di mare, a fettucine with shrimp, mussels, clams & scallops tossed

in a brandy crustacean cream sauce. I can't speak for Austin, but my dish was divine. The scallops were large and perfectly cooked, the risotto was creamy and full of flavor. I've noticed that a lot of places tend to cook their risotto rice beforehand and then just throw in everything else that is going to add to the risotto. Taverna did not do this. The flavors worked amazingly together. Dessert looked delicious, but by this point we were stuffed and knew we wouldn't be able to really enjoy it. Maybe next time we'll stick around for dessert... I know we'll be going back and I would suggest any of you do, as well.

We spent about an hour and a half walking around Sundance Square enjoying the night and each other's company. With the stress of the past couple months and everything we've been dealing with, it was nice to just be able to get away from it all. We did find a little bar, Durty Murphy's. It was a fairly quiet little pub with an Irish theme and great music playing. The bartender was great and the drinks were good, it was a really nice place to have a couple drinks before the show. We did meet a couple of people there that were really great and we had a lot in common with. We even exchanged numbers and might do something in the future.

The ballet itself was absolutely amazing. I wasn't exactly sure what to expect with a story like Bram Stoker’s Dracula and was very interested to see how it would turn out. Austin... He was just going to try and make it through because he knew how much I was looking forward to it. The dancers were just amazing, I don't think they ever missed a mark in the entire two hour show. I know that even if I were to dance every day for the next ten years I still wouldn't be as good as those girls. The story itself was beautifully translated without a word ever having to be spoken. The dancers were able to draw in the entire audience and it was a magical feeling. Since the Hall was completely sold out, there was a very intimate feeling, even though there were thousands of people in the entire building. It felt like this theater was the only place in the entire world.

After the show, Austin and I went out to the Library for a few drinks and finished up at Durty Murphy’s. Austin was surprised with how much he actually did enjoy the entire show. His opinion was that because it was more of a “modern” ballet he was able to enjoy it, I just think it's because he's never given it a shot before. After a few drinks, we walked back to the hotel. It really was a great night and a wonderful way to be able to get away from our lives and the stress we've been living with. Also, I was able to get a pair of pointe shoes that one of the dancers used in a show, signed! I know I'll be putting them, as well as our tickets and program and pictures, into a shadow box to have on display.

Since I know Austin enjoyed it, I know we'll be able to start going to more ballets together in the future. I can't wait until we can go to another one!

NEDAwareness Week

February 26 - March 3, 2012 is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week.

In order to do what I can to help raise awareness, I'm going to be posting a piece I've been working on later this week. This is a cause that is very close to my heart because it is something that I have dealt with and many friends have dealt with. If there are any of my readers out there that need someone to talk to, I am here for each and every one of you. I always felt like I was completely alone and there was no one that could possibly understand what I was dealing with. So I never wanted to talk to anyone about what I was thinking and feeling. I never wanted to talk to other people because I thought I was the only one that dealt with an eating disorder in my circle of friends.

I can't offer any medical advice, but I can listen to anything you all would like to say. Sometimes, the hardest part is finding someone that you can trust to open up to and that you feel like understands. I am here for each and every one of you. Don't be afraid to talk, I will always be here to listen if you need me.

I Didn't Think I Would Have to Deal with This

I really wasn't planning on talking about this today, but after I got home today and saw a message from an anonymous person, I felt like this needed to be addressed. I've never understood the need to send someone something as terrible as the things that were in the little message I got today. I've especially never understood the reason you would say these things and then not have the guts to own up to what you said.

I'm willing to talk about a lot of the struggles I've been through in the hopes that it will help someone else. I want people to know that they are not alone in their battles. Other people have fought these fights. When people take the struggles I've been through and use it as a way to try and get under my skin, I just pity these people. If I had received these messages a year ago, it would have really upset me. Now, I just feel bad for people that carry around so much hate inside.

I know I am not the only person to be attacked through social media. I know that this happens to hundreds of thousands of people. I know that this should not be happening to anyone, anywhere. If any of my readers/followers are ever unhappy with something I wrote or say, always feel free to contradict me or correct me. But, please, don't send me terrible messages asking for me to kill myself.

Instead of getting upset or taking this message to heart, I'm just going to look at it this way: I have never been important enough in anyone's life for them to take such time out of their life to send me such a long message explaining why they hate me; I really must be starting to make it now!

Also, on a completely separate note, I have a new shirt in this video!! I got it here from DFTBA. It's from the famous Youtouber Alex Day and it incorporates two of my absolute favorite things, Doctor Who and Harry Potter!